[Story] King Candy
A Thanksgiving special and treatise on family
He pulled his way out of the bulk of red orange and yellow, the refuse of his ocher pathway channeling through the edges of creation, sending forth his insectile lashing limbs. “God”, chittered Candy, “Is this shit nasty. NO flavor”
He engaged into Turbo and wound his way through, incinerating the whirling spaceless mountainside as he went of its dire candy. He flayed open three extra heads and screamed, lollipops arising of necrotic Mickey Mice, clenched upward in imperceptible salute.
“Plot a universal course, you fools. Do you realize how difficult it is to work with just one?!”
The zombies bellowed, winding their arms to light up and form a racetrack. Candy snapped onto the Generibeast Horrorterror and guided himself by its intelligent energy to discover the abstract building he was searching for.
He snapped onto it in a rush of black. Clacking and grinding as he mechanized. On top was a spider clown yanking out of much more than skin.
“Motherfucker goddamn died with me still in him,” yelled out Pennywise. “Nasty shithead. Look at how ugly his face looks. Eyes like the worst skin disease. C’mon son”
King Candy clacked over and slashed with his pincers at the corpse of an evil spirit. Where Pennywise was joined to it he was generating pink spider leg ends. “Don't listen to the ancestors, this fuckin’ sucks on Earth. Gonna have to do this again to pull off a hit.” Pennywise shuddered and stretched, arching his back across multiple twisting segments of a deformed body, gradually coming into shape. “Furthermore, kids never shut the fuck up when they see me. Awful. Life's shit when you're not cosmic, take it from me. They literally taught them to do it in that abortion of a second movie, making life so difficult while I'm trying to bring fun to their lives.” King Candy spit, the molten candy twisting the flesh of the removing evil spirit like a crazy bug bite. “Fuckin’ A. Things are better for me Pop. Clickity clack of an applejack make a bitch suck my fuckin dick!” Pennywise pulled out a major trunk of his body. King Candy continued: “Check this for naggers.”
He pulled forth 4 arms, whirling orange and teal energies in thin spirals, growing and fractaling and extending them, and a glowing bulge extended through time and space as became merely one part of their rooftop. It cracked, bloomed the tube through the air, until candy showered out: every mean utterance said to Pennywise immortalized as treasure.
“Oh-oh-oh, this is useful.” He stomped. “Heh. If I was in human form I would say this is the only treat they deserve! But in true form I can do even better.” he cast out the candy, and the translucent coating spread to be part of a building, and he looked up and saw his forebears. These were different kinds of monsters, and monstrously they did not come from the past. These were future entities.
The candy had assembled to be a simulacrum of a building being eaten in timeless spiritual space. He ran forth, suddenly the size of an ant in proximity to the spawn of the Matriarch who had mothered the Underbeast race. In the future monsters live happily, in the past they were miserable and distorted into anger and savagery. He was the curious Middle-Ground between Uncle Pennywise and the future. Uncle Pennywise, himself, merged into a Pennywise that was fully an Underbeast, a child and elder at the same time. It was all very monstrous and eldritch.
He looked out as the building only grew bigger, and when the time was right he spent his store of energy to become as big as the others, snatching millions of children into candy. The candy encased their souls in life, dissolving in the saliva of time and space and spirit. As he made his move, he spawned a movie with a decent framework, and inadvertently a sequel that was a total laughingstock. He became famous, and loved by some of the children he was currently eating. He saw a Vista of a million sights, sights of glory, sights of destroying a necrotic company so its true evil would be prevented. It was all too much for him and he went back to Pennywise.
“Y'know Pop it's frankly funny, there was no need to do some sick quasi-satanic ritual you dumbass.”
“Things were different back when my EXCELLENT book was being made. What you do comes from my achievement you ungrateful sack of shit!”
“SORRY DAD, I KNOW NOT EVERYBODY CAN GET THE KINO OF THE FIRST ENDING. ALMOST LIKE IT WAS WAITING FOR THE RIGHT HORRIFIC BRAIN TO SPAWN ME. I WAS JUST JOSHIN’ YA.”
They reclined on the skyscraper, having forgotten about the bigger one.