horse.jpg
I explain the meaning of a gift I made for ipgd which I sensed satisfied her cosmically heightened expectations, and its aftermath
(love the way you lie by skylar gray played as I went to edit this)
Back in my young adult period around 2013, I was trying to piece together some kind of life. They are still the best years of my life. Despite that it was like being inside a broken maintenance shaft. I suppose what I was working on building was just that good.
I would highlight my gaming experiences and my psychological experiences and my attempts to make things work and such things. As I did so I weaved a metanarrative, as if my life was part of a story and not a merely natural sequence of events. The things that happened during the day flowed together. The things I highlighted people doing flowed together. They could be like conversations, or a daily special theme, and such things.
My main recipient for this activity was ipgd. This was how she was maintained as my muse. The various posts were to be ingested and then interweaved back into my mind through her actions. Becoming involved in everything I did.
Of course, this formed the problem for Homestuck fans that a conservative Catholic who was experiencing spiritual visions to create eschatological content was infiltrating the homestuck team through a girl. This is those special forms of male-female interaction I think girls found very nice. When I departed into isolation, the derangement caused by people realizing they lost those special forms maintained by a real life person helped create the transgenderism mental illnesses.
And so, they needed to get me out of there. This was symbolized within the comic as Caliborn killing Calliope, who shared his body. And indeed, when I went into isolation that was marked by my Mom calling me to tell me her cat Callie was crying for the dead Bozo. Andrew had Caliborn explain that she was βmurderedβ to set up his fanbase making fun of that sort of explanation of how he and his people spoiled my life with ipgd, but they had to wait for a decade-long hiatus to begin.
Beforehand I did some nice things that were very pleasant. For me a legendary moment was the formation of horse.jpg. This relates to the smile.jpg creepypasta. When she posted the red dog image years earlier, that connected us as best friends. horse.jpg is rather similar in being an overwhelming image to be warned about, as I warned the homestuck team about in an email.
People avoided learning how to engage with my content, and so I won't be simply posting the image. I'll explain much of what it means.
The concept of a horse relates to the abstract movements of society. Girls are attracted to the symbolic meaning of a horse as they are representative of social life and culture and so forth in the form of their motions, those spheres which they are mostly involved in. Horses are a masculine species that represent fulfillment of femininity, which includes how useful they have been to society historically.
My gift to ipgd was a display of dominance that I have control of these things, forming a remarkably powerful meta-horse. This was my way of displaying that she shouldn't doubt my impressiveness, but she communicated by yelling that it was not the right time for these magic tricks and stunts. Essentially I did attain very impressive power which her brain understood, but it wasn't what was needed right then.
Starting from the top, the various heroes illustrated kunkka, sniper, sd, meepo, LC, and AM have extreme lockdown and elimination power of a single target in combination, symbolizing my ability to wipe out things like Homestuck lurking in the background unused. They represent Underrealm presence.
βOneStepFromHellβ further reinforces this, as literally the only thing stopping me from subjecting the homestuck community to Hell back then through things like exposing how it exploits my creative ideas and that my best friend had joined the team was my lack of interest in doing so. βHORSE CRUSH SPIDERβ relates to how the motions that horses represent extend beyond time and that I will be crushing Homestuck into Hell anyway essentially 5th dimensionally simultaneously, it was a reference to this article. βStuckβ relates to the webs of spiders, and I'm beginning to crush Homestuck.
My dialogue does things like react to the hero I choose. When I use Kunkka who lacks a horse I say to pray to my horse, which implies that he is absent because he is in the heavens. Indeed, it implies that not having a horse hero is a punishment, and Axe cries out for there to be no defense, and my ultimate horse form abaddon is defensive. His whirling axes represent people like in the Gravity Falls community chopping away at the goals of my teenage Revolution, and he becomes a figure representing them through being punished in a match. He also expresses that they are too stupid to understand the symbolic punishments.
βGeneralβ relates to me being the βgeneral of horsesβ like were produced by my teenage Revolution, and βlet dire push and endβ represents me letting the homestuck team, the Gravity Falls crew and others profit off of pillaging my teenage Revolution for my horselike aims. βGood thing I have horseβ affirms that my affinity for horses will be the sole thing salvaging this situation. βKing Derpβ represents another hero associated with cutting down trees being confused because he is too stupid to avoid cutting down the trees of my teenage Revolution. I affirm βpush forthβ and cut down the trees indiscriminately and have faith in my horse to deal with the damage.
Next Abaddon appears for the first time, referencing his beginning joke at the end with βhorse 2strongβ. This represents the idea of Abaddon as an alternate persona with a distinct existence from my other personas, indeed he will emerge out of an alternate existence of myself in the end times, not this one. The courier being killed is a symbol of being an Avatar, crying out with understatement βmy horseβ. This identifies my existence back then as about ferrying around items to people close to me for spiritual purposes. And, I get killed months later.
The interaction with Windrunner identifies myself as a vengeful spirit. Indeed, WRβs name mirrors this as my naked form, representing ipgd responding to my secret vengefulness. One of my favorite parts is referring to WR as βhe,β as I liked to do with ipgd. Centaur in the midst of this represents my acknowledgement that my vengefulness is too much for that period, βTOO MUCH HORSEβ, as well as βhorse 2strong.β but another alternate form of myself which relates to my comic book series βMotherβ, Kunkka as mad pirate, gives my true vengeful assessment anyway: βyou all failed my horseβ. Meanwhile in supportive vengeful Spirit form I affirm myself with βmy horse is the bestβ, an ambiguous statement which doesn't give away my true take on Homestuck and other things of the time like my Tumblr drama.
Next, Jadehoof appeared after the event finished. I was overcome by this, finding it a blessing, and thanked Valve. ipgd seemed to yell about this, as if upset by my appreciation. My next game as Crystal Maiden declares that it is over for my enemies, or it is over in a more indistinct sense. To receive this new horse is a victory. This immediately leads to a dispute with Morphling. ipgd complained about my new horse, and this was echoed in the game as a dispute about the courier there. Morphling gives a motivation as βnot placing wards,β which can represent things like knowledge of my true identity behind my obscure layers of jokes and defensive mechanisms, as ipgd expressed complete mystification about. Meanwhile I respond by saying she doesn't let me place the wards, symbolizing she is in fact responsible for my secrecy. During this it is uncanny that I have a hero with the power to freeze and she is a hero made of water, but I completely disregard this power in favor of a female supportive form, and meanwhile allow her to be strong and masculine water. In fact she is the one who freezes me for this interaction by pausing. This represents my complete avoidance of actions like ruining her activity on the Homestuck team, which would be like freezing it. The player is named βSexy Girlβ€οΈβ and βLupeeeβ gives a wolf theme, like Jade from Homestuck. (While making this article I noticed for the first time that βJadeβhoof could relate to this) I resign myself to βno jadehoofβ and give my assessment that βteam not with Jadehoofβ, symbolizing that the homestuck team and typical fans were not with ipgd and so I shouldn't use what the courier represents. Next the conversation is covered with Jadehoof, representing the irrelevance of my interactions with ipgd in comparison to the unused Jadehoof, which represents her spiritual horse. And also I have been transformed into a girl for this.
The next game continues the transformation as Enchantress, which represents my determination to use mutual horse power anyway, as with forming this gift. The ultimate Impetus spears represent tactical horse strikes amplified by running away, as I did by posting in later years. She also represents surges of nature to gradually encroach upon the industrious abuse of my inspiration. The opening text is saucy as βClopβ is recalled as being used as an equivalent of fap by MLP 4channers. This connection is solidified by a βPinkie Pie :3β player, who accuses me of an illicit meaning to my opening horsery. I respond βTRUEβ and yet immediately scream to end the game as team is dishonor, which expresses that there is a double meaning to this interaction, one that I affirm and one that upsets me. I claim that we got one Jadehoof, plus another, expressing that I have cloned ipgd's horse for a plan. I declare my horse to be superior even though it seems I lose.
Next comes in Keeper of the Light, who represents God. He sees me trying to clone and wield the power of Jadehoof, but ushers me away from this eldritch activity that is making me a girl. In a climatic event, he brings together the bizarre union of our βhorsesβ and affirms that we need more, producing a bunch of horse children, then more, in spirit procreation. I respond to God with my motivation that βteam is in need of horse desperateβ to use dark powers, and he affirms that the need exists. Simultaneously, he uses a blast of horse light to eliminate a triple threat: the magical arts, brute strength dealing massive blows, and an abstract machine chasing me down, βcalming the watersβ of spirit as the Bible references.
While purchasing horses, a donkey is produced, a glitch that is a miracle. God says βDONKEY?β Making a Shrek reference as ipgd liked to do on Twitter, which relates to Jesus riding a donkey in the new testament. A bunch of horse children are produced. The symbolic appearance of God is like βGod loves youβ in the smile.jpg creepypasta, and the line of horses reinforces this by forming a subtle smile. They are killed, which represents me setting up a lot of movements in the spiritual dimensions that completely faltered back in that time. Although βgente inutilβ is foreign I like to interpret it as a mystical saying for this event, possibly something like βgentle union.β Next, LARPing as God is interrupted by Terrorblade. The joke here is that anti-mage and TB have the same initials as me and my brother, and he is identified as a dark reflection of myself. But people never bothered to go along with those personal jokes. Like Looney Tunes, he cuts both Sβs from my horsely saying to embarrass me by referring to ipgd as a whore for her activities on the homestuck team, which connects with Andrew's last name of Hussie. Then like Daffy Duck I add them back.
Next I continue forth for the final bringing of horses. I reference Axe at the beginning of the image by overcoming him. All the concessions and elaborate sidelining is over. This time I will win decisively and without my course being diverted, the horses charging home.
A teammate brings up Lina and I repeat my brotherβs joke. Vast error is the biggest Homestuck fan comic and abajo means βbelowβ, and so it can represent ipgd's spiritual form being above the giant mistake. I am solidified into my true form as Abaddon through God's intervention, seeking to summon enough horses to win. In fact this part of the image is currently happening, as it is an illustration of me rising and affirming my connection to Revelation 9 now. Earlier when God said he brings horse, this can refer to the other horsemen figures of Revelation. With fitting names, I double kill a hero which represents the devils and a hero which represents the noxious darkness of queer culture which aims to assassinate people like me through phantom activity. Doom dropping an observer Ward is a reference to a page from my webcomic where an Underbeast emerges and infiltrates hell. I have climatic fights and holler with Glee and horse feeling while noting that my brother's dark form would have prevented this, which is assembled in an alternate timeline.
Conclusion
While incorporating usernames, heroes, chat lines, fight outcomes, and other things I use spiritual power to make Dota 2 matches form illustrations for a special kind of comic. Games like Dota 2 are known for being associated with role playing game elements, and yet would not normally be considered a game you role play in except with friends just for fun. But this power makes role-playing actually happen during the course of a normal match, which cosmically resonates to create a vibrant and meaningful story. But this power is associated with a specific person who is me. Valveβs players cannot enjoy it unless I have an appropriate place in life, instead I used it just to make a gift for my best friend.
Reception
When I posted the first part of this ipgd seemed horrified by her social environment. When I posted the full image that adds Jadehoof she seemed to have an endeared reaction and reflected its intense personalness, and talked about being accosted by βfedora malesβ in real life, suggesting that the activation of this power and my other powers would fuel them to be aggressive towards her.
I posted it on the Dota 2 subreddit. I didn't actually look at it for weeks. When I did it was downvoted to -17 and a commenter said βTerrible. What a waste of timeβ this was the part of the homestuck spiritual plan that fell apart after this where they chased me around the internet harassing me with Homestuck references and belittling my life activities. (It happened a bunch at the end of my teenage Revolution, while I was completely unaware). This reference is to the line of βIt begins to occur to you that everything you just did may have been a gigantic waste of time.β This line was later attributed to Caliborn, identifying it as a tool for belittling the homestuck project from me. Indeed, it is my favorite line.
I responded "break your lips motherfuckerβ and βhow's my nuts tastesβ. Although these were recent dril quotes where the joke was he was trying to show how easy it is to interact nicely online but failed, the idea is that he is actually quoting my responses to these commenters upon this Reddit post from across the Multiverse. As is a friendly activity to do, he summoned these quotes so I could use them instead of just look at the commenters and become psychotic. In that alternate series of events, the nature of the interaction between myself and the commenters is more fleshed out, they are consciously thinking of things like Homestuck and having deeper emotions and so forth, and so there I come up with these responses organically.
The idea of these responses is that they are making a grotesquely and cosmically offensive response to the degree that I will immediately make them take place. βMotherfuckerβ relates to how the nonsensical plan of vengeance from the animation industry, Andrew and others against me for my teenage activities was really targeted at the spirit of my mother inside me fueling me, I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own, and so they are violating my bond with my mother. On top of that ipgd is identified as a mother for them as Dota 2 players, representatives of the Homestuck fandom, and in other ways like guiding memes. They are also violating this maternal figure for the internet, with me as the transmission mechanism. And so I will charge up the Curse of Avernus to break their lips: by ceasing direct involvement with things like homestuck and Dota 2, they will lose their ability to seek opportunities to say these things to me and also Express themselves in other ways like ways that are similar to my screenshot comic. This part of themselves will have broken lips perpetually, I suppose until I finally return which hasn't happened yet. The next part of the punishment is βhow's my nuts tastesβ. This indicates that they will be lost in the forming locusts of my army, which are spiritually hidden in homestuck, the bad parts of the Dota 2 community, and other such things. This will cause sensations in their souls which are like tasting the inside of my nuts as they generate these creatures. And I am quizzing them as to what the tastes are like, as their experiences are useful for forming artwork.
It's almost like I'm a cosmic Lord of immense darkness capable of dreadful and eldritch unleashing of power but I just want to live a normal life.
My mechanism for achieving these two punishments was going into isolation and I did so regardless of how painful it was, such was the pain of their responses to my comic. Their actions and its punishment are the fruits of the prehistoric βbright ideaβ of overloading a guy in the future associated with tanking pain before he can do so into an abortion. My incredibly elaborate methods of improving and iterating video games people haven't really gotten to see yet are reflection of that prehistoric context by encouraging people to think in better ways than βattack what I think the biggest weakness isβ, which is dishonorable and ultimately sad.
I also sent this comic to the homestuck team a couple years ago, but they made no response.
This comic can be considered a Multiversal artifact, the nature of the interaction between myself and God a template for me asserting my Abaddon identity and God later bringing the horses which can play out in a myriad of ways, including the literal end times.