Friendship-Driven Creativity; The Spumdonor Complaint about late 00s "Fetishes" part 1
I carve throughout the personal significance of artwork to illustrate how my artistic relationships developed after the animation community attacked them doing so publicly or privately.
Lord English Cosmic Quest continues: “His satellite arrays hunt down information from human minds. … Humans, so narcissistic, weren't they supposed to be branching out into acknowledging truly alien beings right now?”
Oil-Worlds continues with Chapter 10, Godswarm: “The new age shall dawn, that dire competition, reforming as the echoes of the past reverberate to that final calamity, and Anti-Matter shall reign, proven eternally supreme.”
This song synchronizes with the current point of my life and so is validation that I'm making the right decisions. (Now I'm returning to finish this article as it's playing on Spotify for the first time) “these past-due bills ain't gonna pay themselves” “got a PhD as a pessimist”. It actively heals my trauma for yellow from Grandma, dying in my mainstream life as I increasingly live in my real life. This magic is what I was aiming for, but people got distracted by how the magic is made
One of John K's girl artists on his blog, Marlo Meekins, made me very psychologically uncomfortable from her Twitter content, replying then blocking her. This was the way the “fetishes” narrative was manufactured. I don't expect Marlo consciously thought about that, but then again I am exploring how the social life of women works for the first time, pioneering such clear thought. And from this pioneering, retroactive awareness is gained. Both associated with The Fifth Dimension, itself lending profundity to things like Daffy Duck. Daffy Duck represents the Birdman, and his angry “side” represents my furious emails to the animation industry, sick of the way they use my influence in their cartoons just like in Duck Amuck. Now, THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO ESTABLISH AS A TEENAGER, Cosmic theology, the Anti-Monitor’s incredible Meta-Meaning, all that cool shit, but before I could do that I had to deal with. “The Fetishes.”
Creative Sexual Potency
Over the years of successfully revolutionizing the world, I connected strongly with other artists. This guided very meaningful adventures like learning about the trickster, a secret figure waiting to take over from Satan when it comes to the darkness, fueling experiences with things like Kingdom Hearts. Going into his world means embracing being dark, not trying to look like a goodie-two-shoes who has to tell a white lie, just being dark.
And so, people were free to interpret me as a bad guy. I actually resonate with being one. But if it was as simple as that, that makes me look “too cool”. I'm “too successful”. Never mind how hard it was to reach that success before it was torn down, dropping out of High school, having a miserable late childhood, hiding my real identity until I lost the ability to connect with anybody online, I was “dominant” and “egotistical” so I was attacked on that basis.
And so I needed to be some kind of bad guy nobody wanted to be like. Instead of Superboy Prime or even a creepy one like Purple Man. Equius was the sort of bizarrity requested by the animation industry, hence Homestuck taking off as a success. I don't recall much of anybody expressing enthusiasm for him back then besides my best friend ipgd. He was introduced training the audience to give the sort of reaction the art Industries wanted, just in case he was actually popular, as Nepeta was.
ipgd compelled me to LARP that Homestuck was good, since I had already received a near death experience telling me that only a character that hadn’t been properly introduced was worthwhile, Caliborn. But people weren't willing to go along with anything I tried to do, my artistic philosophy, my explorations of my weirdness, my jokes, my subtle critiques of leftwing beliefs, any life events. So I left. People mistook my friendship as having control of me, and the insult drove me to slap them down across years to not respect my creative identity means I play parts, it's not how they wanted to see it.
The Animation Industry Perspective on Passionate Artistic Friendship
In general, people didn't like how personal this made things back then. Just some friends going around the internet being big deals that artists getting together for the first time online have to respect. There was also the technical detail that this involved supernatural power.
I was successfully developing personal abilities to be more like the X-Men or Harry Potter than the sexuality of a normal person. These had the functional purpose of ordering creative communities. And this ordering was done by controlling expression. And so I was “giving myself and the girls I was becoming friends with fetishes”.
And so Gil represents myself following Titan to be a doctor, while Titan represents the societal powers I sought to reform as a teenager, infused with aspects of my Revolution. This is how I have always seen Ava's Demon. Spumdonors and others only perceived signs of “kinks”, but unfortunately for them had to completely avoid reading my Substack as they, themselves, would be set on fire by reading what I have been thinking for all this time.
VivziePop is the same age as ipgd with similar sensibilities and I recognize connecting with her. Having connected with her again I immediately resolved ‘sexual’ trauma. For you see, part of my motivation to find an alternative to sex to define being an adult by was that my public school experiences and my other experiences in society as a child made a sexually abusive mockery of the type of person I was. Good out of evil. Constantly asking me why I wasn't talking, meanwhile in high school I tried to take a creative writing class and failed. In the Multiverse I wonder how many times that makes the difference on whether I drop out or not, getting that class or not.
I express myself through artwork, this has never changed, I chose not to “kms drink bleach” and retain my creative identity that had been fueled by Ren and Stimpy and 101 Dalmatians regardless that public school was completely inhospitable to this, and I was rewarded for it.
Navigating Personal Weakness
I'm a natural expert on ordering creativity, and unfriendly people only considered the way they saw things, me having an obsession with control and validating them and limitations and measuring up. Strange thing is that I can look at the work of friendly people and see things I have never explained whatsoever, they didn't want to see us being all sneaky and important like that and so I hardened up to prevent them from harming those who lack the ability to be hard.
The internet people had created as it got big was a place where a total pervert wasn't the worst thing, it was people succeeding by completely innocent friendship while others were locked into their career pathways having given up things like honest connection. But I aimed to teach people about real friendship, that was my favorite focus in religious debates as well as contrasting fictional stories with real life to debate the problem of evil.
And so, people could believe whatever they wanted if it would keep them from getting angry at the girls I had connected with. Michelle's Ava's Demon was a shrine to me, I was always thinking about her well-being as she was assailed online. The social justice people who hated her had put themselves in all kinds of ideological, emotional, interpersonal, etc restrictions, made me think there's a reason it has the same initials as straitjacket. They didn't have her vibrance and tender character expressed through her visuals.
Just as people had joked about on /co/, “the sickest fetish was sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of reproduction”. I wanted connecting with people to be the best thing instead of sex, the worst thing to accept for people who had already accepted so many restrictions in the way they connect with others. They were jealous of how I showed that friendship is Magic, meanwhile the mere fact that their world existed traumatized me and I refused to participate whatsoever.
I was assailed by somebody who reads my articles whose POV is already catered to by this article. This is why I was so cautious about people’s interpretations not only them aggravating embarrassment like the idea that I wrote this because of that in the past day, I would be distracted by that while they are making up all kinds of alternate interpretations completely disconnected from my experience of life.